新年真快乐！

一年一度的春节在我引颈期盼下又来临了！一年里只有这时候老爷子才有多点时间在家，我和孩子都开心得不得了。

婆家的团圆饭。。借用一下:P

新年当然少不了吃吃喝喝咯！甜的咸的香的辣的，吃得肚子撑得不行。年年有余？在我们家，日日有余才是！

今年破例没回婆家过年，但节目还是排得满满的： 出外拜年或在家里接待亲朋戚友，不亦乐乎。和久没见面的朋友们相聚，聊起近况或未来的打算，感情又踏进一步。大家带着年幼的孩子齐聚一堂，吵吵闹闹，嘻嘻笑笑，春节的气氛浓得化不开。

假期里也抽空和到访的妈妈和妹妹到鳄鱼场走走。那地方不大，除了鳄鱼之外，却还有其他的动物，家里的小孩觉得很新奇，也算是不妄此行了！

一星期的假期很快就过去了。老爷子也开始工作了。我已经开始期待那咚咚锵的季节了。

祝所有的朋友们新的一年里身体健康，平安喜乐，一年更胜一年！

Hello, Baby!

Continued from the HK trip.. no more old posts on the pregnancy check ups. You are welcome ;)

A few days after returning from Hong Kong, we paid our O & G specialist another visit. This time, I learnt my lesson. I drank some water and held my bladder. Not an easy feat in this period of frequent urination, I assure you.

At 8 weeks+, we should be able to see the baby’s heartbeat in the uterus. That precious flickering will rule out ectopic pregnancy, Molar pregnancy and confirm that there is actually a 97% chance for the pregnancy to continue and for me to take home a baby!

Not long into the ultrasound scanning, I saw a tiny head, two hands, a trunk and, deep breath now, a galloping heart! I saw my baby. Well, it was actually a fetus, not a baby yet. But still.. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t stop telling my husband to ‘Look at that! Can you see the heartbeat? Look…!!’

3 years later

So I went home happy and finally satisfied with the concrete proof I wanted. But you are dead wrong if you think I finally have my peace of mind. No, I started to think if miscarrige would happen in the first trimester; if my baby is going to be normal. The list can go on and on if I let myself dwell in the scary unknowns.

One wise sister, a dear friend of mine, reminded me to put my trust in God. We are finite and there is nothing we can do by worrying. She had the same worries and oh-so-many pregnancy scares but God gave her a healthy and beautiful boy. Many of our worries are simply not valid.

So, baby, Mama is going to go home and take good care of myself so that you can grow healthily in me. We will meet face to face again after 4 weeks. Until then, God will take care of you. We love you and can’t wait to see you.

家有小儿初长成

扮鬼扮马

儿子三岁零五天，第一次离开妈妈，乘飞机到婆婆家去过夜。

平时恼他吵闹，鲁莽，缠身；现在听不到他软柔稚声，看不到他的无邪笑脸又好生想念。

心里也很后悔昨天没耐心斥责了他几次。想起他不开心的样子和眼眶里的泪水，心里非常难过。

不再！心里暗暗立志。

要给他个快乐童年，设身处地为他着想；快快地听，慢慢地说，慢慢地动怒。让他不只知道，也感受到我对他的爱。

如是我愿！

Unsolved Mysteries

Second time around, my pregnancy symptoms were much milder. Memories of me lying lifeless on the hotel bed and being extremely pale and lightheaded came back as I read about my first pregnancy..

Life. Miracles.

Many things in life never cease to amaze and puzzle me. Things like the orderly manner our planet works; the complexity of the ecosystem; the diverse culture of different tongues and tribes, and why dogs chase after their own tails. Or something like that.

I made a trip to Hong Kong, 10 days after I discovered that I “might” be pregnant. The trip was planned months before and it would be an inconvenience to the organizer if I were to cancel the trip at last minute. Besides that, air ticket would be wasted too. But most importantly, no one would be home to “aiyoh, aiyoh” me if I did not go with my husband in this one-week company trip. So, the Pearl of Orient, here I come.

I was in Hong Kong for a week, first attending a training provided by one of our company’s suppliers, and then followed by an international conference.

I know the events must sound fancy to you but too bad I was in such bad shape I ended up in my hotel room most of the time espcially during the conference. Extremely nauseous and tired, I could only stomach… guess what… instant noodles and McDonald’s. Steak, tempura, sushi, dim sum, roasted goose, wan tan mee and all classy food in Hong Kong, sorry, maybe next time.

So all in all, I had fast food four times and instant noodles three times in the later five days of my stay. I know, I know, it is not nutritious for my baby, but they were the only food that I could tolerate. And I need food to beat that horrible nausea, and besides, the good doctor said to eat anything I want! This brings me back to a time when I was about 10 years old. I was sick for a few days and the only food that I could take without it coming out of my food pipe is chicken nuggets from KFC!

Is there any expert out there who can tell me why? Or am I just a fast food addict?

会做莫？

Mmmm... 会做莫？

Z 自从会反问以来，就把他不耻下问的精神发挥得淋漓尽致。我这当娘的被他问得哑口无言。没耐心时更恨不得他立时收口。他最常挂在嘴边的就是“会做莫？”（既是“会怎么样？”的意思）。

让我举一个真实的例子吧！

Z 拿起玩具想要砸贝比妹妹，我赶快阻止他。

“会做莫？” 好学的学生问。

我解释说妹妹还小，身体很娇嫩，会受伤的。

“会做莫？”

“Huh? 受伤会很痛！”

“会做莫？” 还是要打破沙锅问到底。

“要去医院看医生，打针吃药！”

“会做莫？”

“。。。。。” 于是又把说过的话再重复，连自己都顶不顺这么罗嗦。


 一番晓以大义后，Z 的答案是，“要！！”

 真是败给他，少一分耐心都不行。

From the Beginning

Here is another older post..

The purpose of my having a blog is principally to record the pregnancy process. My first pregnancy process. I would like to look back after some time and relive the precious moments.. its joy, anticipation, fears and horrible symptoms.


For men, please stop reading now if you are not interested in menstrual cycle and all the yucky stuff. You were warned.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I was expecting my period (told ya) around 19 May 08 and found some brown discharge on.. where else. I was not concerned as It had happened before. So I just put on a panty liner and went on life as usual. Work. Lunch with friends. Facebook. But I soon found myself collapsing on my chair in the afternoon. I was dizzy and dead tired. I blamed it all on the blazing hot weather and thought nothing about it.

The discharge went on for a week before I made an impromptu decision to get a pee stick from the pharmacy behind my office. I was not expecting anything as it could be ANYTHING. I tried for baby for the past 1 year plus or maybe 2 years and was never successful. I was beginning to reconcile myself to the fact that I was infertile as I went past 3-oh. Besides that, the online pregnancy questionnaire only indicated a 50% chance of me being pregnant this time.

So I went and got one. At home, I read the instructions over and over again to make sure I got it right. Pee stick is not exactly cheap you know. A few seconds after – voila! – two (2) lines appeared. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? I left the pee stick on the sink and waited for my husband to return. Shaken, doubtful and relieved, I experience a surge of emotions that I could not recognise.

He finally returned, this punk, way past his office hour, as usual. I pretended to fold the laundry in the guest room and waited eagerly for his response. Minutes went by without a word from Mr Cool. So I went in the bathroom and asked him to his face. Mr Phlegmatic was smiling and asked me if this was a joke. Oh, why was I punished for being a joy maker in our marriage?

After some cuddles and tears, we were in disbelief. Is this real? Are we really having a baby? But it is impossible, a baby can not be conceived out of the fertile period (ok, kids under 18 please leave now). Is this result reliable?

Looking at my flat tummy, I was uncertain and perplexed and fearful. That night, we said a prayer for our baby and drfited into troubled sleep.

I will always remember that day. 26 May 2008. A day when I was invited to join many others on an unknown journey. A new life.

要什么？

大约在儿子一岁多至两岁时，他常常因有限的词汇而词不达意。我们听得满头雾水却又爱莫能助。他一沮丧就大哭起来。我们一边同理他的无奈也引导他慢慢地把心中话说出来。

"Z 不要哭，告诉爸爸妈妈你要什么。慢慢讲。"

过后每当类似情况发生时，他总会说，“Z 要什么？Z 要什么？”

我们开始不明白，后来才知道他全以字面上的意思来诠释我们的说话。

告诉爸爸妈妈你要什么= 告诉爸爸妈妈“你要什么” = “Z 要什么”。哈哈！

这事也提醒我小孩的理解能力不如我们想像。凡事要留余地，不要一味斥责，因为他们可能不是不为，而是不能或不知道。孩子都想讨父母喜悦的。父母的赞赏是他们为善的力量！

A Skeptic I Am

Here is another older post *stifling laughter* 

1 August 2008

I like to question and learn about the 5W1H (who, what, when, where, why, how). I think it reflects one’s intellect (or lack there of) and I always pride myself of my ability to do the aforesaid. Ahem.

The next day after discovery of my possible (please note “possible” here) pregnancy, I decided to buy another pee stick of ANOTHER BRAND, from ANOTHER PHARMACY to carry out a second round of test. To be doubly sure, I conducted the test at ANOTHER BATHROOM. Yes I did.

After squeezing a few drops of urine into the pee stick window, 2 lines appeared again right in front of my eyes. As a researcher who complies to stringent requirements, I had a test assistant with me to verify the results, and he (my husband) saw exactly what I shared.

So, two false positives?

We made an appointment with an O & G specialist the next day to be triply sure. Triply? Triplely? Anyone, please tell me the correct spelling of this word, if it exists.

Dr L is a gentle and patient doctor. After taking my history, she asked me a few questions. Do you feel dizzy? Tired? Is your home pregnancy test result positive? Yes to all that. Then, you are pregnant! Huh? Just like that? Where are the in-office urine test, blood test, examination of the uterus and cervix? No, of course I did not ask her that to her face.

She then conducted an ultrasound on me. She said we should see a sac in my uterus around this time as I was 5 weeks + 3 days pregnant according to calculation (my EDD* is 27 Jan 09). Unfortunately I just vacated my bladder before seeing her (I cleaned myself because I thought there would be examination of uterus and cervix etc etc), and we could not see anything except something that resembled a layer of fat.

And thus ended my visit to the O & G. I was advised to take my folic acid everyday, be positive (my husband insisted that the doctor mentioned this one), eat whatever I like (I heard this). I would need to see her again after 2-3 weeks for another scanning.

I went home disappointed without any concrete proof. My husband, being the positive and loving person as he is, cheered me up and insisted me to trust in the doctor’s experience (aka instincts). But an intellect does not rely on feeling/instinct/hunch, we want proof!

And so it goes without saying that I was in limbo for some days even after I started to feel the horrible, horrible pregnancy symptoms. But that’s another story.

* Due date/estimated date of delivery (EDD) is calculated by subtracting 3 months from the first day of the last menstrual period (LMP), then adding 7 days. These abbreviations make me look smart huh.

Despite of..

1 August 2008

It took 30 minutes for my husband from his office to pick me up for lunch. For those of you who don’t know him, let’s just say that he’s not the average working guy. He works extra long hours and has heavier-than-average responsibilities. It is a big sacrifice for him to meet me for lunch and during peak hour at that. The peak hour traffic was terrible and the traffic lights terrible still. Despite the traffic congestion, he arrived in a jovial mood and we had a good time together.

Lunch may not be something particularly “romantic” but I appreciate his action nonetheless. He came despite of his heavy work load and tight schedule. His action clearly demonstrates his love for me. It tells me that I am more important than work and he cares about my being lonely. There are many instances that remind me times and again that he cares about my wellbeing despite of some inconveniences for him. Lunch is but one of them. Fetching me to MBA classes three times a week for two years is another. Keeping two dogs at my request is yet another.

His practice of “despite of” is a good example of God’s love. God loved us despite of the fact that we were sinners. He sent Jesus to die for us despite of our hardened hearts. He loved us despite of our self-centeredness even after receiving Jesus as our Saviour. The list goes on and on.

We were all called to emulate Him. We were called to bless even though being persecuted (Romans 12:14). To rejoice even with suffering (Romans 5:3). Be patient in the face of affliction (Romans 12:12). In the similar vein, we are to give out of the little that we have; to persevere with the difficult tasks at hand; to be joyful in this corrupted society.

May we master the art of despite of/even though/regardless of!

Note: This article was written for my church’s newsletter and edited for my blog.

Answered Prayer

This is the first post about the pregnancy of my firstborn. Feeling nostalgic as I sort through the old posts..

1 August 2008

Do you believe in the power of your mind? Someone I know suggested that morning sickness is psychosomatic, meaning the woman’s psychological state triggers her physical discomfort. I believe that it’s a way our bodies tell us: “Dummy, so you want proof?”

Two days after seeing the O & G specialist, I started feeling nauseous, loss of appetite, heightened sense of smell, food aversions and cravings on top of dizziness, fatigue and breast tenderness.

I personally think morning sickness is an understatement as my symptoms were present constantly. After the 8^th week, I started actually vomiting and it normally occurred in the evenings (not to say that I did not vomit in the morning, afternoon and some ungodly hours). Sudden movement, tiredness and low blood sugar level would send me rushing to the porcelain throne. As a result, cookies and raisins were my best friend even though they did not taste the way I remembered. Sometimes I would wake up at 3 am and felt so hungry that I threw up again.

I grew up on nasi lemak, roti canai and fried delicacies. Ah, the good old days. After returning from my Hong Kong trip (around 7^th week pregnant), I found myself with a strange preference towards bland food. I could no longer tolerate my favourite nasi lemak or asam laksa or any fried food (scrambled eggs, pan fried fish included). All I wanted were mee sup, porridge, something tasteless please. Thank you.

On the other hand, my mother’s cooking and my childhood food suddenly filled my mind all the time. The memory of mian fen gao/mi hun keh (面粉糕), ban mian/pan mee (板面), fried kueh tiaw (West Malaysian style), wan tan mee (with black sauce, West Malaysian style) and home made pau’s would fill me with longing. How I missed my primary school’s mee rojak. I am going to cry now.

Ok, back now. Besides that, I had difficulty breathing at home. Not that I had difficulty BREATHING, but I can’t breathe easily because I found my house to smell like cockroach, dust and old books. My good husband sent the curtains for washing and cleaned the house for me but the situation did not improve. I wonder if I smelled the odour from the neighbour’s house. Hmm.

I get it now. I am pregnant, thank you, my physical self. I still don’t have other pregnancy symptoms like constipation and emotional instability. But it’s ok for me, I get your point now. Duly noted. Point taken. Amen.

I am back!

It's been a while since I last blogged. A lot happened. My baby boy is all grown up and we have a new addition in the family. A little princess! We moved to a new house. Bought a new car. Met some amazing people. Learnt a lot from life.

I can't wait to record these precious moments once again, lest I forget. At the same time, I will gradually transfer my older posts here.

May life treat you as well as it does me. Blessings!