"Z 不要哭，告诉爸爸妈妈你要什么。慢慢讲。"
过后每当类似情况发生时，他总会说，“Z 要什么？Z 要什么？”
我们开始不明白，后来才知道他全以字面上的意思来诠释我们的说话。
告诉爸爸妈妈你要什么= 告诉爸爸妈妈“你要什么” = “Z 要什么”。哈哈！
这事也提醒我小孩的理解能力不如我们想像。凡事要留余地，不要一味斥责，因为他们可能不是不为，而是不能或不知道。孩子都想讨父母喜悦的。父母的赞赏是他们为善的力量！
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
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Well done on starting a new blog in new year! Ive long abandoned mine. Haha.
ReplyDeleteYes, kids really want parents to compliment them positively. Chloe always want me to say 'good girl' to her until she says 'I want good girl, I want good girl' followed by good behavior that she thinks she would be complimented after. She recently quitted her pacifier just because I said 'good girl doesn't need chuk chuk at night (she quitted day time chuk long time ago)' and since she wants to be good girl, she gave it up.
She only tells me 'mamy, I love you' because always want to hear me respond to her saying 'I love you too'.
Kids are very cheekish in a way. They know their way to something. Haha
Thanks :) I want to record their growing years because my memory is failing me! I can hardly remember Z's toddler years. So I hope to find time from now on to write down the happy, memorable moments. It will be a gift for them :)
ReplyDeleteI know there are some parents/experts who refuse the use of punishment and rewards. Intrinsic motivations should be what's prompting the children to "good" behavior. I do compliment my kids but I always try to be specific or just state the desired behavior. Eg I don't say "wow nice painting!" or "very good", instead I say "I see that you drew some red circles" (Z is happy that i really pay attention to his work) or "Z is putting the toys back to the drawer. Z puts toys back after playing. That is being responsible." so that he knows the specific desired behaviors. Just my 2 cents :)
I can't deny I'm quite a harsh mom. I cannot tolerate messiness and chaotic. My style is I have to get this done, as in, immediately.
ReplyDeleteAt first, I use threatening to tell Chloe (since she's older and she gets what I'm saying) that I'm going to throw all the toys away if I see them lying on the floor again. You know, every time and every night I need to clean after they went to sleep. So tiring and I couldn't do this every night, I needed to engage a helper that's Chloe. Hahaha. First few times, she picked those toys up and place them back to where they belong then after a while, when I asked her to help me pick up toys, she does that willingly too. And then now didi follows too without me telling him. Ever since then, I found the trick. If I want good examples and behavior in kids, I only need to show the older one how to do it. Rest, the young one will follow :)
My 2 cents too ;)
And happy new year regal!
Happy new year to you too! It was real fun to talk to all the mommies in CNY. Hope to do it more :))
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